Chosen?

I come from a long line of strong women. As in wills of iron. Too bad it doesn't extend to physical strength... Sissy has continued this proud tradition by testing the limits from an early age and making her will known in no uncertain terms. We've always joked about how the blood must run thick - this is a trait the men in our family tend to love and put up with depending on the minute (yes, we do reserve the right to change our minds and mood at any given moment!).

God must have decided that this tradition needed to continue and that it would be not just in the blood but in the heart as Peanut is living up to this female tradition. It's either that or my mom has prayed retaliation on my life in retribution for all I put her through... and God hears her prayers louder than mine...

Peanut knows her mind and isn't afraid to let it known to whoever is in close proximity. The problem is that she's so stinking cute during this proclamation. (In the picture of them in the stroller, that was my attempt at getting a pic with both of their sunglasses on - each time she managed to rip it off before the picture snapped - can you see the look of satisfaction on her face?) I just keep reminding myself that it won't be so cute in 10 years. But the little shaking of the head and the grin when she refuses to hand me the head phones that she's quietly destroying... more often than not we find ourselves turning out heads away so she doesn't blatantly see us laughing at her poor display of obedience. At the same time, there are so many times she immediately and admirably refrains from touching the object I've instructed her not to touch - she really is a good girl. But she does get that same impish look that my mom said I had when I was about to do something unmentionable. Why do I think we're in for it????

She loved helping me bake cookies - and she loooved stirring the dough. So much that she would throw a mild fit when I took away the spoon... as you can see, she discovered how to eat the dough and stir at the same time. Yes, she really likes dough.

Yesterday, Peanut started walking. Up until then, she insisted on walking everywhere, if you would hold her hand. And when I said "insisted," I don't use the word lightly... But, God forbid if you took your hand away - she refused to try on her own. Then, yesterday, she decided the time was right. She stood up on her own, after falling down 4 times before, stood there for a couple of seconds, smiling from ear-to-ear and then proceeded to take not one step, not two steps, but five steps, after which she fell and laughed and laughed, all at the same time. She was so proud of herself. When the rest of the family came home (I was the lucky one to witness the initial event :)) we all sat in large circle while she walked from person to person, taking at times 10-15 steps. I always knew it had to be her timing...


Every single one of the men in our family have a quiet strength (I like to think that mine has become quieter over the years...) and are very easy going. Little Bro is no exception. He is the sweetest and most easy going child. Through all the uncertainty and change he's experienced in his short life, I fully expected more acting out, grieving, you name it. Certainly not this, "Yay, I love life and being with every member of my family and where are we going next" response to life displayed on his smiling face continually! We have determined that Little Bro reminds us so much of C.J., who was the same way at his age.

So much for being worried about how they would fit in with the family... their personalities couldn't fit in better if I had prescribed them! We have never been a shy & quiet family, and that continues to be true - no pun intended... Not that I would have necessarily prescribed a strong-willed child, but there is a kind of satisfaction in having another girl with one. Sissy, at 17 is truly one of my closest friends - definitely not a given at this age. Although she felt it necessary to test the limits through early adolescence, she's figuring out who God has made her to be and what that looks like within His purpose for her life and she is truly discovering the good side of that strength. So although I know our road will be more trying at times with Peanut, I'm so excited to help my new daughter discover this as well. And this time, I have another layer of support with Sissy - what a help she is already.

Today, Little Bro said, "Mommy, bro, bread." This doesn't seem like much reading it, but if you could hear him say it, you wouldn't have heard him say, "Brrrro, brrrread," which is what he's always said. Sad to hear him shedding his rolling rrrrr's so quickly.

It's amazing how fast the kids are adjusting to their new lives & family. How thankful we are that God chose them particularly for our family and us for them. There were definitely chosen to be Trues :).

Officially a Family of 7!!!!!!!!

OK, I'm a terrible blogger. Horrible. Completely thoughtless. Maybe you'll forgive me after reading the last 3 months...

Here's what I began to write on July 3rd... Funny how life can change in a single instant. How circumstances that happen on the other side of the world create the first day of the rest of your life that will never be the same again. It's hard for me to believe that I was sleeping while it all went down... I woke up Thursday morning, July 2nd, completely oblivious to the missed calls on my cell phone. It had been a particularly lazy morning. Most nights in the last few days and weeks were filled with fitful sleep and continual prayers as I anxiously waited for our kids to officially become ours. Earlier in the week I had gotten the news that we were dependent on one person in Ethiopia who needed to write a letter that the Ministry of Women's Affairs was requiring for our case. This person was not very motivated to get things like this done and his track record supported his lack of motivation! It was a reality that it could be weeks and most likely, months before that letter would get done. Facing the impending court closures in August and September because of the rainy season, this meant if we didn't get a court date within the week, we probably wouldn't make it before they closed.

Tuesday that week, brought a high level of stress, faced with the recent news. Wednesday brought an amazing peace as I fasted again as I've been doing each week since we started this process. I've learned so much through this period of fasting - so much of it seems to be what God needs to do in me, versus what can be accomplished through our fervent prayers. Although, I must say, I've seen more miracles on Wednesdays than I ever have! What a privilege that God allows us to partner with Him as He accomplishes His purpose!

Going in to Wednesday night, I slept quite peacefully, content that God was doing what He needed to do. Back to Thursday...You have to realize that my phone and computer (w/ email attached :)) have been my constant companions for months now. Each day when I've thought there could be news, I've made sure they were a part of my body. I've probably managed to miss one call by my agency, and that's only because I didn't have service! At least, before Thursday...

So, the bottom line... I see that I missed two calls from my agency and frantically call my voicemail. As I'm listening to the two voicemails they left, I'm also looking at my email that had two messages from my agency, which read... "we just got information by email and phone that your cases passed court today.....I am a bit confused, but I will double ck and get back to you within the hour." The second one had a subject line which said, "It is true." By this time, I've listened to my two messages my case worker had left - the second one said, "You gotta call me. You're killing me here!" I know frantically call my agency and speak to my case worker, who tells me, "Yes, it really is true! And we had no idea it was even going to court today." The in-country representative who represented us in court wrote, "We have truly seen a miracle today in the case of the Trues passing court." Sissy, in her bedroom hears me yelling and jumping up and down and thinks I've probably lost it a bit. How could i be so excited about getting a new court date, which is what she thinks has happened. That soon changes to her freaking out as well, and then the rest of the family as they find out...

Here it is, 7 weeks after returning home with the newest Trues and I still am so overwhelmed with how blessed we are and with what amazing kids we have been entrusted with. Life will never be the same again... I must admit, it is definitely strange trying to get used to a new normal, but I can't imagine ever going back. The love I have for Little Bro and Peanut (their new blog names :)) is indescribable. The second day we had them in Ethiopia, I remember turning to TrueDad and saying, "I thought I wasn't supposed to love them this much already!" And now we wonder when, or if ever, the grieving they talk about the kids going through, will begin. It truly is amazing how well they both are adjusting. They seem so incredibly happy to have a family.

The first day we picked them up, they were waiting for us outside the orphanage. Little Bro had a huge smile on his face and a bouquet of flowers for us. He took TrueDad's hand from that moment on and claimed him for his own. I took Peanut, who then never wanted to let go of me. Even when the other nannies she had known for the last couple of months reached out to take her, she turned away and held on tight to me. Thus, the bonding began. The nannies clearly gave them lots of love in the orphanage, but she seemed to be so happy to have a mommy who was all her own. Peanut was pretty lifeless and sick the first few days, but has completely come to life since then. When I asked her caregivers at the orphanage what her personality was like, they said that she was very serious and didn't smile or play much. This matches the all the pictures and video we had seen of her, as she never cracked a smile. The doctor said that when he saw her for the first time, she was protein deficient and he was very concerned about her. She had an ear infection, which she has probably had for months. We're hoping that it's finally gone now, but are not sure after several rounds of antibiotics. Since being home for several weeks, she is the happiest and most fun baby/toddler ever! She sparkles, laughs, loves life and her new family.

Little Bro might just be the happiest little 3 1/2 year old I've ever met! He is embracing with both arms his new life in America (they told us that every day he would ask if today was the day he was coming to America...) and his new family. He loves to experience everything possible and loves going "Bye-bye." He asks every day if we're going and gets so excited when we do. We were in the van a lot of the time in Ethiopia (no car seats or seat belts!) and he was right next to the window, with his head partially out of it if possible the entire time, soaking in all the sights and sounds. It's no wonder when you realize that they've spent the last year cloistered in an orphanage, possibly leaving it no more than once or twice. We are very thankful for the care they've gotten, but there is no replacement for a loving family!

This is the original picture I first saw of the kids taken in November, '08:
The next 3 were taken in February of '09...
These are the happiest pictures we have of peanut taken in June...









We were so thrilled to see Little Bro smile when we got this pictures over the summer! Here we got a glimpse into his sparkling personality...









Here we are at the office of the orphanage - they fed us an amazing spread of Ethiopian fare complete with injera. I loved the food - no utensils allowed... it was amazing how Little Bro was an master at this technique... we're working on the forks & spoons :).
















This was a very long and tiring day - but it was also the day that we went to the embassy and received their paperwork allowing us to take them home! That was definitely a miraculous event after which we breathed a huge sigh of relief. The paperwork to bring them home was finally over and we could begin the long trek to getting them home!


Now, they've definitely come to life with personality with a capital P, and we wouldn't change it for the world. Our home is filled with so much laughter and joy. Even when they cry we usually have to laugh. No, we're not completely heartless, they're just so precious most of the time when they cry... But on a very important side note... really, who thought that toys with batteries were a good idea????

Hopscotch anyone?

Well, we've been through two court dates since I last wrote. Honestly, I can't believe just how worn out I am... you've seen wash rags(or worsh rags as my grandma would have said) that have just wiped down the floor and then been rinsed and wrung out more than they should? Well, that would be me. I know there's got to be some grand purpose behind this seemingly-senseless-never-ending-court-date-torture, and I also know I'll probably never see it and somehow I'm trying to learn how to be content with that. My grade so far? A "C+"...

One of my friends who just went through her second date today and was delayed until the beginning of July just lost it a little bit... She called the travel agent and bought two tickets for she and her husband to Ethiopia, where they're going to visit their little girl (she's about the same age as our youngest in Ethiopia) and then come back home before they go back to pick her up a few weeks later. They don't have any other kids yet, so they can be a little more spontaneous... I probably would have already done that if we didn't already have 3!

I can't look at our kids' pictures without having a hitch in my heart, a knot in my stomach and quite often, the tears that go with it... Last night at about 2:54 a.m.(oops, guess that would be morning - not that I looked at the clock or anything...) I woke up suddenly, realizing that court could very well be going on at that moment. I also realized that I was done for - there would be no more sleep for me, and so it was. As it became later in the morning and I kept my newly-grown appendage - my phone, of course - attached to my hand, where it belongs whenever I'm waiting for THE call, I got to revisit those feelings of knowing that my heart was going to pound it's way out of my chest. During those moments, I'm always so surprised to not find it lying on the floor flopping around... I know in my head that whatever the news, it will all be okay, but I can't seem to convince my body. I'm thinking that some kind of space-sleep gismo would sell like hotcakes to international adoptive parents - you know - the thing in sci-fi movies where you go to sleep and wake up a few years later (months would be my preference in this case, although I'd like the option of pulling it out again during our daughter's jr. high years - once was definitely enough as far as I'm concerned!). That would be a beautiful thing...

It will really sound like lying when I say that I'm still trusting God and His timing. I just have to figure out how to enjoy this part of the process...

So... the latest... the woman assigned to write the necessary recommendation for our case from MOWA - Ministry of Women's Affairs - turned out to be out on vacation and just returned a couple of days ago. That's why we weren't passing before... but that was before. Our date on June 5 was rescheduled for today, June 11, after our attorney pleaded with the court for an earlier date - they initially had given us a date of June 26. We're so blessed to have such a great attorney representing us in Ethiopia. Please keep him in your prayers - he's doing a great work there. Today (last night in Ethiopia) they discovered that MOWA had reviewed our paperwork and wanted additional information about the 2 siblings not being adopted with our two. I would imagine that the details would have been included in the dossier, so I'm not sure what they're wanting to know, but there it is...

There were a few other cases heard from our agency today at court and all of them were given new dates at the beginning of July. We got a new date of June 15. Hmmmmm... what is that all about?! I can't even try to get my hopes up. On one hand, how good it is to have an early date. On the other hand, do I really have to ride this torture coaster so soon to just get another date at the end of it. Has this become my life? Existing from one date to another... kind of like a hopscotch game that doesn't have an end and they never let you jump off no matter how horrid your balance is...

And every time the date approaches you can't help but hope and pray like mad, trying to make sure you're not forgetting anybody or anything, so it's not your fault that it didn't go. Silly, huh. And yet, I still go there...

How much does what we pray impact the outcome? Clearly, there's no formula or ratio you can plug in to figure this out. But I do know our prayers count and are offered up as incense before the throne of God (Revelation 8 describes a beautiful picture of this). We are given the privilege of participating with God in His best. Because we only see through a glass darkly - or see into the room through a distorted pinhole, to use a different analogy - we get discouraged when we don't see what's happening in the corner, just out of our view. This is where true faith and trust come in - knowing that our loving Father does see all the minutiae and trusting Him to lead us through each step, while we are seemingly blind. He asks us to pray, thereby participating in the outcome, without knowing the whys or the hows.

In my blindness, I imagine this is partly why we're going through this endless round of dates - our Father wants us to depend on Him to a greater degree, even when it doesn't make sense. Reading about it doesn't quite teach us like experiencing it does... In the end, there will be wonder and amazement as His glory is revealed. I have to believe that... I do believe that... it's what so much of my life is based upon. And I know that I know that I know, that it will all be worth it in the end - a day I'm truly looking forward to!

And now... off to watch Fireproof with TrueDad... we are blessed indeed as we breathe between hopscotch games...

Many blessings as we follow one step at a time,
True Mom

Just got off the phone this afternoon with my agency. If the department in Ethiopia doesn’t write the letter of recommendation the court is waiting on by tonight, then we have to ask for a new court date. If she does write it tonight, we should pass! Otherwise, it’ll be another 2-3 weeks for a new court date...She said the woman in Ethiopia is very, very busy, which is not really good news. To compound the issue even more, our attorney is representing five other cases tomorrow as well. One of my friends who has her court date tomorrow said that she's "assuming that she won't pass." None of us want the extreme disappointment that comes from not realizing your high expectation.

I know the struggle between "assuming you won't pass" so we're not let down and believing, in faith. At the same time, I think God kind of likes it when things are really difficult from a human perspective, because it allows Him to do things that only He can do. A great thing I heard last week in our pastor's message, "Avoid the temptation to bring God down to our level." I know that I do this sometimes without even realizing it. I just look at the circumstances, and if they're too hard, then I prepare myself for the letdown. I'm trying to handle this with, "Your best, God, but come on and make it happen!"

I'd like to share something that happened to us that is pretty relevant to the situation... Sorry, it's a little long...

9 years ago, Eric & I were flying to Australia for the Hillsong Conference on standby passes. For five days, they wouldn't let us on the flight, because they were taking fruit over (of all things) and the flight was too heavy for more passengers. (They got more money for fruit than standy passengers... Go figure. It was just before the 2000 Olympics and I guess the athletes had to have their apples - LOL!) Day after day, we hung out in San Francisco, questioning whether we had heard God wrong and He didn't want us to go to the conference after all. We had watched the rest of our team - 6 others that we were the leaders of - all get on the plane without us. It was one of the toughest and most growing experiences of my life.

We had a lot of conversations about whether God was really involved in it and whether our prayers made a difference - after all, we didn't feel that they had up til then. Finally on the fifth night, we decided that if we didn't make it on the plane we would not go (The first five days were our fun days and the conference started the next day. All our "fun" was spent in SF. Not that it's not a great place, but it's in our backyard and a far cry from Australia!) cuz God clearly didn't want us to. They were about to close the plane door with us still in the terminal and the attendant was telling me that we weren't going to make it on. Eric was down the hall in a phone booth praying like he's never prayed before. He told me that he prayed with a confidence that really, really believed that God would get us on that plane and almost "told God" (hope you all understand what I mean by that) what He needed to do. I liken it to telling the mountain to move...

All of a sudden, the ticket agent got a phone call from the pilot who told her that the weight was less than they expected and they could take 2 more passengers. They actually began to argue about it because the ticket agent's info said otherwise. After a couple of minutes of going back and forth, another ticket agent handed me our tickets and said, "Hurry up and get on that plane before they change their minds!" You can imagine the joy and how much in awe we were that we had just made it on that plane. It truly was against all odds.

I have absolutely no doubt that had we - and my husband in particular - not prayed as fervently and with as much confidence as we did, would never have made it on that plane. God changed the weight loads to get us on and we absolutely recognized that it was His work. We went to that conference with a different kind of faith than we had ever had before and God did an amazing work in our lives and the lives of so many others as a result. (There's so much we took back from that conference - it was life-changing and changed the way we lead worship...) If we hadn't gotten on that plane then, I would have had no doubt that God had a plan in us not going - there was nothing left to chance.

All that to say - I can't afford to assume I won't pass. I feel like I can't leave anything on the table... I've got to let it all go and give God the best of my faith. I think I've mentioned before that I felt God gave me the date of June 23rd as an embassy date 2-3 months ago. Tomorrow would be the last possible day to pass to even have a chance at that date. God works in mysterious ways and if we don't pass, that's really o.k., cuz I'll know He really means it either way... Hope that all makes sense :).

Expectantly Waiting on God for His Best!
TrueMom

BTW... we got to fly Business Class all the way to Australia!

Delayed... But hopefully not for long!

What a disappointment to get the call from our rep at the agency finally by mid-morning to find out that we were delayed because the Ministry of Women's Affairs (the agency in Ethiopia which oversees each adoption case) neglected to write the required recommendation letter for our case because the supervisor was out of the office! This is a letter that usually appears the day before court or on the day of court, or, in our case... not at all! We weren't sure if the birth mother had even been able to give her testimony (which she has to do) or if they had heard the case at all. Since she lives over 4 hours away and has to get there by bus, this would be a huge problem for her to do again.

The good news is... today I found out that they did, in fact, hear our case as well as the mother's testimony. Our attorney in Ethiopia said, "they are very happy to approve our case" and would have done so if that darn letter had been there! But, the judges were in favor - YAY! Our attorney goes back tomorrow (tonight, our time) to see if the coveted paper has arrived. If it has, I'm unsure as to whether he'll be given a new court date or it they be able to approve it without it...

Please pray with us that the recommendation letter is complete and that they'll be able to somehow approve it without giving us a new court date!

In the meantime, our parking lot sale is this weekend - hopefully we can raise lots of funds for supplies for our orphanage - they desperately need it!

With hope regardless of the outcome,
TrueMom

2 Days 'Til Court!!!

Hard to believe, but true... in two days (Tuesday night here is Wednesday morning in Ethiopia) our case will go before a judge in Ethiopia and our fate and that of our children will be in his hands. Actually, this is only true from a visual perspective, because behind the scenes, an all-powerful and all-knowing God who loves us and cares about the details of our lives has ultimate say! Now that, I can live with! After all, who else loves our kids in Ethiopia more than He does?!

I'd love to say that it will be a slam dunk and I am definitely praying for a first-round knock-out punch making further rounds unnecessary... but there are some large hurdles before us. Last week, 5 cases were presented to court from our same orphanage and all 5 were delayed as the judge is asking for additional paperwork from that orphanage. It all sounds so simple, but getting one little paper can take weeks or months sometimes in Ethiopia. From a human perspective, I would say that the odds are not in our favor to pass court this Tuesday/Wednesday. I haven't been able to find out from my agency if they have the coveted paper, and Monday is a holiday, so I might not know at all before court... this is where faith comes into play :).

This morning our pastor spoke about the 12 spies in Numbers 13 & 14, scouting out the promised land and how 10 came back with "No way, the giants are waaaaay too big" and the 2 came back with "Yes, the giants are humongous, but of course we can, with God on our side." It was such a good reminder to have eyes of faith and to remember what God has promised. I fully believe that He wants us to pray for miracles. This is our way to participate in His glory that will be revealed through those miracles.

There are so very many challenges to be faced in the world of adoption and so many reasons why it doesn't usually make sense from a practical viewpoint. I'm continually reminded of this as we move through this process. As the 10 spies did, it's so easy to see all the reasons why you shouldn't move in to a place where you are dependent for God to do things that only He can do. In this process, as in so many things in life God asks us to do, we are constantly having to rely on God for things that only He can do as almost everything is outside of our influence. I am also reminded to continue to seek the mindset of the two spies as we are confronted with various obstacles.

That being said, I am overjoyed to see how God has been working and can't wait to experience more of this as we move closer to bringing the kids home. Watching God work reminds me of what it feels like to watch a dancer who was just meant to dance, performing on the stage pouring her heart into each move, or a singer who can bring you to tears through the beauty of his voice, emotion and interpretation of a song. The only thing better than watching God at work is getting to participate with Him as He works! To use an imperfect analogy, maybe it's a bit like being the caddy for Tiger Woods, who's finesse with a driver and on the green leaves both the wannabe and avid golfer in sheer awe.

If we are one of the 10 spies, we will miss entirely the beauty and perfection of God's finesse and victory in our lives. The timing of this message for me was very interesting and not coincidental IMO. God rejoices when we see our world and the problems through His perspective, remembering who He is... the God of the universe who created the world in 6 days - an all-powerful, omniscient God, yet who still knows how to meet us where we're at. These hurdles and set-backs we face are so small in light of who He is :o! May I not be guilty of placing God on the same level as me and the humanity I relate to...

All that to say - I'm facing this giant of a court date with confidence and fervent, heartfelt prayers that God will defeat these giants. If He chooses not to, that is His right... He is God after all... but it won't be because I didn't pray and believe with all that I am with eyes of faith! May I be one of the 2!

TrueMom
P.S. BTW - In case you didn't know or just forgot... all 10 spies who "played it safe" and told the Israelites not to go where God called them cause the giants were too big, died of a plague... only Caleb & Joshua - the 2 spies with eyes of faith - were allowed to enter the Promised Land...

And on to the next...

And so the new stage is... COURT DATE!!!

How very fun to say that today, we got the call that we officially have a court date and its... drum roll please... May 27! For those of you who don't live and breathe by the calendar like those of us in adoption-land, that's less than 3 weeks out. This is pretty amazing considering that when we began this journey several months ago, court dates were being assigned 12-13 weeks out. Last week, our agency received dates that were 6 weeks out, so for us to receive this early of a date is surprising to say the least. (Don't get me wrong, we're certainly not complaining!)

Having this news brings the word "real" to a whole 'notha level! To think that two little ones are entering our home in possibly, a few short weeks is humbling and... wow............ I think that's the limit of my vocabulary at the moment. This also means that if all goes well, and we pass on the first try - we're really praying for that one :)! - we could be traveling as early as June 20th! That's 6 weeks out... I realize just how much my life will change and it's... wow.......... I guess I still haven't gotten more creative than that.

If you go back and look at my earlier posts, you'll see that I've been praying specifically for an embassy date of June 23rd. As time has gone on, this has been less and less likely, yet I haven't felt inclined to pray differently. So to realize how God is in process of working it all out... wow..........this one I can add to... our God is good and mighty and able (and I would add, pleased) to accomplish more than we can ask or imagine!

Just this morning I was thinking, "Do I have to walk on water every day?" Is that what God requires of us in putting our faith in Him? The kind of faith that never wavers, that expects the miraculous and always keeps its focus forward on our master's face, never giving in to temptation to look down and realize the tempestuous waters raging at our feet. I count it a privilege to look for what only God can do and participate in some small way, but honestly, I've felt a little tired the last couple of days.

God in His infinite goodness and care, picked me up off of the water and gently placed me in the boat for a little while. I'm more than happy to be here for however long I can stay and will remember to cherish these days and use the time to prepare for the next stint on the water on my bare feet! In my heart I know it won't last too long cuz my Father knows that He's made me to live on the edge experiencing Him and His work in ways I can only when I'm out of the boat!

In the meantime, gotta get the room finished, get some kind of baby and toddler gear (yikes, I really don't have any of that stuff :)) and get some events planned so we can bring donations to the kids' orphanage! I'm confident that this next stage will definitely not be boring!!!

Thanks for your prayers!
TrueMom