DVD!

We got a dvd of the kids yesterday. Oh my! How to communicate what it feels like to watch them try to understand that the pictures they're looking at are their new mommy & daddy. How do I describe the lost look in both of their eyes - the inherent sadness that must be from losing the only mom and dad you've even known and being dropped off in an institution. The glazed-over look in the eyes that is afraid to hope and unsure of the future. These are things that even at 3 and 9 months seem to be evident.

Sad, but true, one of my favorite moments on the dvd is when Eleni is plopped down on the floor in the clothes we sent, her little face begins to frown, a cry begins to form, clearly taking over her face, yet remains mute until about 4 seconds pass and it has to come out! Even though she's clearly in distress, we're so excited to see real emotion - upset because her nanny put her down again. It's also at this point that I can see two little teeth on top and two more on the bottom. Each little detail makes her that much more real... that much more personal... that much more our daughter... and that much more painful that we have to leave her in Ethiopia without two parents and 3 more siblings who want to shower her with unconditional love. This also gives a better indication of her age, which really is probably very close to 9-10 months as the 3rd & 4th teeth usually show up between months 7 and 11, and hers have yet to make an appearance. She can also sit-up by herself, but that was pretty much the extent of the showing off that we got to view - besides the beautiful crying demonstration that is!

Another favorite moment, is when Kadin realizes at some level that the gifts we've sent him are truly his, but he's clearly not sure how long he'll get to keep them. Immediately, when he's presented with each precious commodity, he gathers everything he can into his lap - the photo album of us, the soft, black gorilla, the red "cars" t-shirt, pop-up book that won't seem to stay on his lap, so it sits right next to him, and the tonka car-machines that he's playing with if they've left the safety of the lap. As he's playing with the cars, he notices the adult next to him putting his sister's gifts back into the ziploc bag. At this point, you can see a bit of panic creep in as he realizes that the lap may not be adequate protection to prevent his toy's receiving the same fate as his sister's. Kadin begins to quickly stockpile each car and the photo album up close to his chest. How to describe the emotion as we see him protect our pictures, not even really comprehending what this means... At this point, the adult "toy grabber" has caught up to him putting everything back in his ziploc bag, including the album. He is left holding the cars when he's told to move in to the next room. The helper has to lift him to his feet as his hands are otherwise occupied and not about to become available!

There's another moment when M is showing Kadin our pictures and telling him that this is his new mommy and daddy. He looks at M and then back to the pictures as if to ask if this is really the truth - he seems a bit astounded by the possibility that there is another mom & dad in his future. When the translator seems to ask if he understands, he raises his eyebrows, which in Ethiopian culture, means "yes." This is the cutest thing to see and something I'm sure we'll all enjoy and drive us crazy as we try to communicate with each other.

While we may not get much insight into their real personalities from our 3-minute dvd, it doesn't seem as if Kadin will not be a strong-willed child. He seemed quite polite and respectful and compliant. After all, he never complained as his toys were "taken away." One can't tell though if this is just because he's so used to not having anything to call his own and no opportunity to really become his own person in their world largely devoid of much stimulation, and yet filled with so much uncertainty and heartache.

Our kids will be moving into the Addis Ababa (about 4 hours away) within the next two weeks as their paperwork is transferred over to a new license. This is a both a praise and a concern. A praise in that their paperwork has to be transferred over to a new license if the adoption is to go forward, as the original license is not being renewed. It's also quite expensive to get food and supplies to the orphanage that far away from the city as gas and food has gone up exponentially, so it will be much more affordable to take care of the kids in the new center and give them good care. The concern is that this is just more uncertainty for all the kids and for ours in particular, it could mean separation from their siblings. We haven't been told at this point if they're brothers will be able to move with them or not. Very possibly one will and one will not.


We're also still waiting to find out more about whether the older sibling will be able to be adopted or not. The region he's from has said that they'll allow one child a month to be adopted, yet we have no verification at this point. The agency is trying to get it, which is no easy task in Ethiopia! And so very much would have to happen if he is meant to be in our home. All I can say is that we are utterly dependent on God and His best for both this very precious child and our family. If there was a chance to bring him home, I don't know if I could stand the thought of leaving him behind. Please join us in praying for His best!!!


Wish I could show you all the pictures and dvd. Some of my adoption friends I've met through other forums have recently passed court and shown their pictures. It's so exciting to finally see the little ones we've been praying so long for.


Someday, that'll be us...

Update & Names!

So much has happened in the last few weeks so it's time to update the details...

As I blogged about earlier, we receive the official referral for the kids on Feb. 4th and their original pictures when they had entered the orphanage. At the same time we received measurements, which were interesting to say the least. Our three year old boy is such a little guy and will have to hold his own to stand up to his little sister. According to their paperwork, she was 21 lbs. at 3 months (yes, you read it right) and her "big" brother was 26 lbs. at three years of age! We've heard a lot of comments about malnutrition causing the kids to be very small until they come home, but what gives with the baby?? We think her age is probably off by a couple of months. Right now, according to her paperwork, she's 8 months, we think she's probably closer to 10 months.

We got new pics of the kids that were taken two weeks ago, as well as new measurements (we're still waiting for new weights) and it looks like the kids are doing well overall. They received our gifts and we got pictures of them holding the gifts and wearing their new clothes. Every picture of our little girl is either with a straight face or crying - especially in the new clothes, which are pink... perhaps she doesn't like pink. Either way, it melts my mommy-heart to see her that way and gives me a little foretaste of what's to come. I told TrueDad that I think we'll get really familiar with that whole pouting/crying look. Funny how, more than anything, it just makes me laugh when I hear kids cry - I guess cuz they're just so darn cute. (Okay, I'm not sadistic - I don't cry when they have a really good reason to cry, like they've fallen and hurt themselves... I just love seeing the things that are such a big deal to little ones -and it's so fun to make it better. I wonder if this is how God sees us when we throw our little tantrums. Somehow, I don't think we're nearly as cute... Thank you God, for having so much patience!)

The most amazing thing was realizing, as I looked at a picture of the little boy that he was holding in his lap the photo album that we sent him showing the picture of TrueDad & myself! I have to admit that when I saw that I just broke down crying realizing that it was for real. We are now connected with Ethiopia and the kids are connected with us - they are in the process of becoming Truekids! I desperately wish that I could post pictures, but it's not allowed nor are we allowed to give out their names. I can however, tell you about their new names...

In Ethiopia, a name is an important thing - given out with real meaning behind each name. We wanted to find a balance of maintaining this connection and preparing them for their lives in the U.S. with names they could be proud of: ones that reflect both their heritage and their new life. While this seemed like a daunting task, we've been blessed to experience God's direction clearly in the process, further signifying that these children were chosen for us.

The little boy's name, "D" means "the kind one." in Ethiopia. I blogged earlier about how when we were trying to decide if we really were supposed to pursue the adoption, the main passage of Scripture that God lead me right to is Luke 12:22-34. My favorite verse I've been holding on to in that passage is v. 32 - "Do not be afraid little flock, for Your father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom." One day, I went looking for any verses in the concordance relating to that verse, in particular. The first one I looked up was Eph. 1:5,9 "He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will," and "He made know to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Him." I'm so thankful that God's intention to bring us into His family was designed with kindness which is reflected in the name of our soon-to-be newly adopted son.

We decided to keep his birth name as his middle name and give him a new first name that also has special meaning, but is perhaps a little simpler for all of us who are language-challenged to pronounce. C.J. has always wanted a little brother, so we went for the African name, Kadin, which means "beloved companion." We are confident that he will live up to his name and be a "true & kind beloved companion!" - will that mean never a moment of sibling fighting??? Ahhhh... one can dream :).

When C.J. was born, we knew that we wanted to call him Ellie if he was a girl, but would have chosen a longer name to shorten to Ellie. Alas, it was not to be and while we were quite thrilled with our new boy, (yes, son, we still are :)) we were more than a little sad to never use the name. (Silly us, we thought we'd never have more kids... or was that our formerly practical selves trying to will some good sense into our what-could-be-viewed-as not-so-practical current versions?) So when we learned that one of our new children would be a girl, TrueDad was adamant that she be called Ellie. As he hasn't been too adamant about the details in this process, I was all too happy to go along with him. We did want to keep her Ethiopian heritage in there somewhere and so were trying to figure out how to best do that.

We learned that her given name, "W" meant "golden one." Her name doesn't translate easily into English and could cause other problems as well in the translation but we wanted to honor her given meaning in some way so we decided that we would look for a name that meant something close, like "valuable" or "light." I began to look down a rather extensive list of Ethiopian names, looking at the meaning column versus the name column. I found nothing meaning "valuable" and only one meaning "light." I think I just about fell over when I saw what it was... "Eleni." What a gift to see how God put all that together from almost 14 years ago, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart," Jeremiah 1:5

Now for the last name... in Ethiopia, the children take their father's first name as their last name. So all the children in the family with the same father have the same last name, but different from their mother's last name. When God really planted the adoption seed, I was in church listening to our pastor teach on the first chapter of Isaiah and verse 17 completely leapt off the page and into my heart, especially, "Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." I thought... this is what our church should be about. It was about that time that our pastor and his wife took in two little bi-racial boys who needed a home within their family - literally overnight. As TrueDad & I decided to go forward in our pursuit of adoption, we've always had the feeling that it would represent our church somehow or be linked in some way. Well... it turns out that the kids last name, "G" translates as "grace." Oh, did I forget to tell you that the name of our church is, "Grace?"

Their names now have a world of meaning to us.

We've also decided to incorporate their last name into Eleni's full name, so she'll be called "Eleni Grace True" - Ellie for short.

Our little 3 year old will be "Kadin 'D' True."

So now our dossier is on a plane on its ways to Ethiopia. After it's translated then we normally would be in line for a court date, however there's a slight issues going on... I'll explain in my next post cuz we need prayer!

Holding on to God and loving the ride!

TrueMom