Delayed... But hopefully not for long!

What a disappointment to get the call from our rep at the agency finally by mid-morning to find out that we were delayed because the Ministry of Women's Affairs (the agency in Ethiopia which oversees each adoption case) neglected to write the required recommendation letter for our case because the supervisor was out of the office! This is a letter that usually appears the day before court or on the day of court, or, in our case... not at all! We weren't sure if the birth mother had even been able to give her testimony (which she has to do) or if they had heard the case at all. Since she lives over 4 hours away and has to get there by bus, this would be a huge problem for her to do again.

The good news is... today I found out that they did, in fact, hear our case as well as the mother's testimony. Our attorney in Ethiopia said, "they are very happy to approve our case" and would have done so if that darn letter had been there! But, the judges were in favor - YAY! Our attorney goes back tomorrow (tonight, our time) to see if the coveted paper has arrived. If it has, I'm unsure as to whether he'll be given a new court date or it they be able to approve it without it...

Please pray with us that the recommendation letter is complete and that they'll be able to somehow approve it without giving us a new court date!

In the meantime, our parking lot sale is this weekend - hopefully we can raise lots of funds for supplies for our orphanage - they desperately need it!

With hope regardless of the outcome,
TrueMom

2 Days 'Til Court!!!

Hard to believe, but true... in two days (Tuesday night here is Wednesday morning in Ethiopia) our case will go before a judge in Ethiopia and our fate and that of our children will be in his hands. Actually, this is only true from a visual perspective, because behind the scenes, an all-powerful and all-knowing God who loves us and cares about the details of our lives has ultimate say! Now that, I can live with! After all, who else loves our kids in Ethiopia more than He does?!

I'd love to say that it will be a slam dunk and I am definitely praying for a first-round knock-out punch making further rounds unnecessary... but there are some large hurdles before us. Last week, 5 cases were presented to court from our same orphanage and all 5 were delayed as the judge is asking for additional paperwork from that orphanage. It all sounds so simple, but getting one little paper can take weeks or months sometimes in Ethiopia. From a human perspective, I would say that the odds are not in our favor to pass court this Tuesday/Wednesday. I haven't been able to find out from my agency if they have the coveted paper, and Monday is a holiday, so I might not know at all before court... this is where faith comes into play :).

This morning our pastor spoke about the 12 spies in Numbers 13 & 14, scouting out the promised land and how 10 came back with "No way, the giants are waaaaay too big" and the 2 came back with "Yes, the giants are humongous, but of course we can, with God on our side." It was such a good reminder to have eyes of faith and to remember what God has promised. I fully believe that He wants us to pray for miracles. This is our way to participate in His glory that will be revealed through those miracles.

There are so very many challenges to be faced in the world of adoption and so many reasons why it doesn't usually make sense from a practical viewpoint. I'm continually reminded of this as we move through this process. As the 10 spies did, it's so easy to see all the reasons why you shouldn't move in to a place where you are dependent for God to do things that only He can do. In this process, as in so many things in life God asks us to do, we are constantly having to rely on God for things that only He can do as almost everything is outside of our influence. I am also reminded to continue to seek the mindset of the two spies as we are confronted with various obstacles.

That being said, I am overjoyed to see how God has been working and can't wait to experience more of this as we move closer to bringing the kids home. Watching God work reminds me of what it feels like to watch a dancer who was just meant to dance, performing on the stage pouring her heart into each move, or a singer who can bring you to tears through the beauty of his voice, emotion and interpretation of a song. The only thing better than watching God at work is getting to participate with Him as He works! To use an imperfect analogy, maybe it's a bit like being the caddy for Tiger Woods, who's finesse with a driver and on the green leaves both the wannabe and avid golfer in sheer awe.

If we are one of the 10 spies, we will miss entirely the beauty and perfection of God's finesse and victory in our lives. The timing of this message for me was very interesting and not coincidental IMO. God rejoices when we see our world and the problems through His perspective, remembering who He is... the God of the universe who created the world in 6 days - an all-powerful, omniscient God, yet who still knows how to meet us where we're at. These hurdles and set-backs we face are so small in light of who He is :o! May I not be guilty of placing God on the same level as me and the humanity I relate to...

All that to say - I'm facing this giant of a court date with confidence and fervent, heartfelt prayers that God will defeat these giants. If He chooses not to, that is His right... He is God after all... but it won't be because I didn't pray and believe with all that I am with eyes of faith! May I be one of the 2!

TrueMom
P.S. BTW - In case you didn't know or just forgot... all 10 spies who "played it safe" and told the Israelites not to go where God called them cause the giants were too big, died of a plague... only Caleb & Joshua - the 2 spies with eyes of faith - were allowed to enter the Promised Land...

And on to the next...

And so the new stage is... COURT DATE!!!

How very fun to say that today, we got the call that we officially have a court date and its... drum roll please... May 27! For those of you who don't live and breathe by the calendar like those of us in adoption-land, that's less than 3 weeks out. This is pretty amazing considering that when we began this journey several months ago, court dates were being assigned 12-13 weeks out. Last week, our agency received dates that were 6 weeks out, so for us to receive this early of a date is surprising to say the least. (Don't get me wrong, we're certainly not complaining!)

Having this news brings the word "real" to a whole 'notha level! To think that two little ones are entering our home in possibly, a few short weeks is humbling and... wow............ I think that's the limit of my vocabulary at the moment. This also means that if all goes well, and we pass on the first try - we're really praying for that one :)! - we could be traveling as early as June 20th! That's 6 weeks out... I realize just how much my life will change and it's... wow.......... I guess I still haven't gotten more creative than that.

If you go back and look at my earlier posts, you'll see that I've been praying specifically for an embassy date of June 23rd. As time has gone on, this has been less and less likely, yet I haven't felt inclined to pray differently. So to realize how God is in process of working it all out... wow..........this one I can add to... our God is good and mighty and able (and I would add, pleased) to accomplish more than we can ask or imagine!

Just this morning I was thinking, "Do I have to walk on water every day?" Is that what God requires of us in putting our faith in Him? The kind of faith that never wavers, that expects the miraculous and always keeps its focus forward on our master's face, never giving in to temptation to look down and realize the tempestuous waters raging at our feet. I count it a privilege to look for what only God can do and participate in some small way, but honestly, I've felt a little tired the last couple of days.

God in His infinite goodness and care, picked me up off of the water and gently placed me in the boat for a little while. I'm more than happy to be here for however long I can stay and will remember to cherish these days and use the time to prepare for the next stint on the water on my bare feet! In my heart I know it won't last too long cuz my Father knows that He's made me to live on the edge experiencing Him and His work in ways I can only when I'm out of the boat!

In the meantime, gotta get the room finished, get some kind of baby and toddler gear (yikes, I really don't have any of that stuff :)) and get some events planned so we can bring donations to the kids' orphanage! I'm confident that this next stage will definitely not be boring!!!

Thanks for your prayers!
TrueMom

New Stage of Waiting

You've heard of ladies-in-waiting? Well I've decided that I am officially an Adoptive-Mom-in-Waiting! But I'm so happy to announce the next stage that we've graduated to...

We're officially in line for a court date!!! I know this may seem so anti-climactic for most of you. Several months ago I would have responded with an "And...?" Since we had heard about the hold-ups with our kids' paperwork, we were beginning to wonder what kind of plan God had us on? Would we be on the "eternally waiting" plan? I'd already told God (more than once I readily admit) that I really had learned whatever lesson it was that He was seemed to be convinced I needed to learn. He hasn't quite bought it yet... I guess He saw the times that I almost started screaming into my pillow, the many times I've bitten my tongue to refrain from laying into one of my beloved family members in exasperation, the times that biting did no good... sorry TrueDad & kids... All in all, though, my faith is definitely expanding and my trust has increased exponentially (promise, God!).

We should know about the official date within a couple of weeks. It doesn't normally take that long (yet another "opportunity" to wait and learn...), but I've been told that there are a couple of holidays coming up in Ethiopia (from my extensive online research - i.e. "world travel guide"): May 1 - Labour Day... bet you didn't know that this went beyond our country... ok - I had no idea at least... and May 5 - Patriots Victory Day. No idea what that one means... my extensive research hasn't extended that far... At any rate, we are thrilled to have confirmation that the paperwork is in order and that we're in line for a date!

Thank you for all your prayers! We are humbled and privileged to call so many of you friends.

TrueMom-in-waiting :)

Waiting...

Have I said how much I really don't like to wait??? I know... I shouldn't write that out loud, cuz it'll probably get even worse now. I honestly think that's why I haven't written much recently, cuz I'm so not happy about this whole waiting thing. Word to the wise - don't go toward international adoption unless you're good with waiting... or at least willing to wait... or at the very least have decided to grin and bear it (how do I cross out "grin" on this computer?) if you're forced to wait... can you guess which category I fall into?

Really, I have no grounds to complain - other than dealing with this constant feeling that my home, which once was so complete a few months ago, will not be so again until our two little ones come home. I keep trying to enjoy the fact that I have so much "me-time" compared to what will be when they finally get here, but I just can't seem to take any satisfaction in it. I'm so thankful that the kids are being taken care of really well in their orphanage. It is sad, however, that most of their friends have moved from their current orphanage to a new one in Addis, the main city in Ethiopia. Our kids are supposed to move as well, but the region's officials where they're from have not released them to be moved. There are about 8 children left there and about 50 who were moved. I'm thankful that brother and sister get to stay together!

There was a problem a while ago with a licensing of a couple of the orphanages that held up anyone getting court dates. This caused a bit of concern for all of us potential adoptive parents (PAP's) as we weren't sure how long this would hold things up. In Ethiopia, there is a severe rainy season that pretty much shuts things down for two months. It looks like this year, court will be completely shut down for August and September. (The dates change every year - this year could be a little earlier or a little later, but should be pretty close...) When court opens back up again, there's quite a backlog of cases to be heard so things are really slow getting started back up. This means that all of us PAP's are praying really hard to "pass court before they close." The good news is that several other families adopting from the same organization have received court dates - the furthest one out so far is June 4th. The bad news is that we're not one of them yet. We've gotten word that the kids' paperwork may not be completed yet - we've been waiting to hear whether it is or not for a couple of weeks.

It's so hard to understand from our perspective why you just can't pick up the phone and ask that question. And if something is not completed, why you can't go get the missing paper and fax it to them the same day. After all, that's what I do in real estate on a daily basis... fax, email and my trustee cell phone, which gets my emails on it as well, are my friends! (Or my enemies depending on the particular moment. Like last week when I walked into the Sprint store to get their help "unfreezing" my email on my phone. The guy said, "i'll just take out your battery and put it back in and that should take care of it." "Okay," I ignorantly replied... my phone was indeed like new after that - stripped of all my contacts, emails or anything else that made it my trustee friend... for those of you now deathly afraid to take out your battery, I've gotten reassurance that this is not normal... BTW, I'll deny to my death that the shriek you heard coming from the Sprint store at 3:00 was me.) Alas, it's not that way in a third world country. Dial-up is their only modem, which doesn't work half the time - and if you thought you're old dial-up was slow, you'd think again after sharing an extremely slow line with the rest of the country. (I don't know exactly how many lines they have, but I've been told that you can go for days without it...) There are entire days as well that you can't get through on a phone line, not to mention the 10 hour time difference. Need I say more? Actually, yes. Ethiopians tend to operate on a different time schedule than we do in the U.S.... much more relaxed. While this may be great for the blood pressure in Ethiopia, it doesn't do much for us wigged out, get-it-done-now over-achievers... I guess I am admitting to that one.

In so many ways, however, the waiting is a blessing. Really. I keep telling myself that and some of the time I manage to feel it - the times I don't, I still believe it! I have found this to be so true:

Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:30-31

What a blessing to know the One I serve and to learn to trust Him in a deeper way day by day, moment by moment. I'm really waiting on Him and He is never late - praise God!

We have been managed to be pretty productive however, in our waiting time. During Easter break, we moved C.J.'s room to what used to be the bonus room. He now has the coolest bedroom in the house - happy bday, son! He wanted to leave the sectional that we had in there and use a wardrobe for a closet with just a simple bed and now his room has become the official hang-out upstairs! The other night, TrueDad, Guy, our friend Josh and C.J. were living out their fantasies of hitting 350 yard drives with personal caddies the only way they ever will - on "Tiger Woods" XBox - when I realized they were all playing in C.J.'s room at 10 pm on a school night! Oops... gotta come up with a new plan for that one!

We then cleared out C.J.'s old room to make way for the new kids. I honestly never knew so much stuff could be hiding in two rooms. You could have easily mistaken our hallway for an entire household as we sorted through what was going or staying. It really took the whole week, sad to say, but it looks fabulous now and the kids' room is almost ready... now we just need the kids! We took a day trip to IKEA - we decided it was the next best thing to Disneyland. We shopped for our church, which we're waiting to move in to (yes, lots of waiting going on these days), and had a blast. One of my favorite moments was eating in the cafeteria (kind of can't believe that word came out of my fingers in association with our family...) and spending $20 for our family of 5 and having leftovers! Best dish on the menu? Add 5 Swedish meatballs for $1.00 to any meal. If you want to save a penny, get a kids portion - the same 5 Swedish meatballs in a colored plastic bowl for $0.99 (sorry, I'm currently computer-challenged as I can't seem to find the cents symbol)!

We all had fun designing the kids' room - using stuff we already had and adding little things. We had a side table and toy box/bench (gotta love this one - I've been using it for a laundry "basket" but it says on the underside of the lid - "Caution - not a toy box as fingers may get caught." I told my mom a little sheepishly that we were planning on using it anyway. She said, "For heavens' sake, what do you thing we had when you kids were little!" Nothing special about it - just a hinge on a wooden lid on a wooden box... i figure it would probably only take once... that's all it ever took me :). Not to worry, no fingers are in danger or being lost... I tried it out first just to be sure!) that I didn't want to keep the way they were. I decided to venture into the world of Trading Spaces and paint it with much fear and trepidation. I'm thrilled to say they came out great. What was once a very boring falling-apart worn-out side table is now a chic distressed black nightstand and toy box with striped bench. I decided on the whole distressed route cuz it'll end up that way whether I want it to or not, I would imagine! Now I have to design their window treatments - I'm going for indoor red awnings with iron sides... I'll post pics when I'm done :).

The fun part will be on the Saturday before Mother's Day, we're planning on having a parking lot fundraiser. I've been kind of afraid to write it out loud, cuz I know how much work it will be, but we're using it as an event to benefit the kids and the orphanages in Ethiopia. Please let us know if you have anything you'd like to get rid of (one man's junk is another man's treasure!) and we'll happily include it in our ever-growing pile. We hope to get lots of donations and have a great sale! Thanks for helping us spread the word!

DVD!

We got a dvd of the kids yesterday. Oh my! How to communicate what it feels like to watch them try to understand that the pictures they're looking at are their new mommy & daddy. How do I describe the lost look in both of their eyes - the inherent sadness that must be from losing the only mom and dad you've even known and being dropped off in an institution. The glazed-over look in the eyes that is afraid to hope and unsure of the future. These are things that even at 3 and 9 months seem to be evident.

Sad, but true, one of my favorite moments on the dvd is when Eleni is plopped down on the floor in the clothes we sent, her little face begins to frown, a cry begins to form, clearly taking over her face, yet remains mute until about 4 seconds pass and it has to come out! Even though she's clearly in distress, we're so excited to see real emotion - upset because her nanny put her down again. It's also at this point that I can see two little teeth on top and two more on the bottom. Each little detail makes her that much more real... that much more personal... that much more our daughter... and that much more painful that we have to leave her in Ethiopia without two parents and 3 more siblings who want to shower her with unconditional love. This also gives a better indication of her age, which really is probably very close to 9-10 months as the 3rd & 4th teeth usually show up between months 7 and 11, and hers have yet to make an appearance. She can also sit-up by herself, but that was pretty much the extent of the showing off that we got to view - besides the beautiful crying demonstration that is!

Another favorite moment, is when Kadin realizes at some level that the gifts we've sent him are truly his, but he's clearly not sure how long he'll get to keep them. Immediately, when he's presented with each precious commodity, he gathers everything he can into his lap - the photo album of us, the soft, black gorilla, the red "cars" t-shirt, pop-up book that won't seem to stay on his lap, so it sits right next to him, and the tonka car-machines that he's playing with if they've left the safety of the lap. As he's playing with the cars, he notices the adult next to him putting his sister's gifts back into the ziploc bag. At this point, you can see a bit of panic creep in as he realizes that the lap may not be adequate protection to prevent his toy's receiving the same fate as his sister's. Kadin begins to quickly stockpile each car and the photo album up close to his chest. How to describe the emotion as we see him protect our pictures, not even really comprehending what this means... At this point, the adult "toy grabber" has caught up to him putting everything back in his ziploc bag, including the album. He is left holding the cars when he's told to move in to the next room. The helper has to lift him to his feet as his hands are otherwise occupied and not about to become available!

There's another moment when M is showing Kadin our pictures and telling him that this is his new mommy and daddy. He looks at M and then back to the pictures as if to ask if this is really the truth - he seems a bit astounded by the possibility that there is another mom & dad in his future. When the translator seems to ask if he understands, he raises his eyebrows, which in Ethiopian culture, means "yes." This is the cutest thing to see and something I'm sure we'll all enjoy and drive us crazy as we try to communicate with each other.

While we may not get much insight into their real personalities from our 3-minute dvd, it doesn't seem as if Kadin will not be a strong-willed child. He seemed quite polite and respectful and compliant. After all, he never complained as his toys were "taken away." One can't tell though if this is just because he's so used to not having anything to call his own and no opportunity to really become his own person in their world largely devoid of much stimulation, and yet filled with so much uncertainty and heartache.

Our kids will be moving into the Addis Ababa (about 4 hours away) within the next two weeks as their paperwork is transferred over to a new license. This is a both a praise and a concern. A praise in that their paperwork has to be transferred over to a new license if the adoption is to go forward, as the original license is not being renewed. It's also quite expensive to get food and supplies to the orphanage that far away from the city as gas and food has gone up exponentially, so it will be much more affordable to take care of the kids in the new center and give them good care. The concern is that this is just more uncertainty for all the kids and for ours in particular, it could mean separation from their siblings. We haven't been told at this point if they're brothers will be able to move with them or not. Very possibly one will and one will not.


We're also still waiting to find out more about whether the older sibling will be able to be adopted or not. The region he's from has said that they'll allow one child a month to be adopted, yet we have no verification at this point. The agency is trying to get it, which is no easy task in Ethiopia! And so very much would have to happen if he is meant to be in our home. All I can say is that we are utterly dependent on God and His best for both this very precious child and our family. If there was a chance to bring him home, I don't know if I could stand the thought of leaving him behind. Please join us in praying for His best!!!


Wish I could show you all the pictures and dvd. Some of my adoption friends I've met through other forums have recently passed court and shown their pictures. It's so exciting to finally see the little ones we've been praying so long for.


Someday, that'll be us...

Update & Names!

So much has happened in the last few weeks so it's time to update the details...

As I blogged about earlier, we receive the official referral for the kids on Feb. 4th and their original pictures when they had entered the orphanage. At the same time we received measurements, which were interesting to say the least. Our three year old boy is such a little guy and will have to hold his own to stand up to his little sister. According to their paperwork, she was 21 lbs. at 3 months (yes, you read it right) and her "big" brother was 26 lbs. at three years of age! We've heard a lot of comments about malnutrition causing the kids to be very small until they come home, but what gives with the baby?? We think her age is probably off by a couple of months. Right now, according to her paperwork, she's 8 months, we think she's probably closer to 10 months.

We got new pics of the kids that were taken two weeks ago, as well as new measurements (we're still waiting for new weights) and it looks like the kids are doing well overall. They received our gifts and we got pictures of them holding the gifts and wearing their new clothes. Every picture of our little girl is either with a straight face or crying - especially in the new clothes, which are pink... perhaps she doesn't like pink. Either way, it melts my mommy-heart to see her that way and gives me a little foretaste of what's to come. I told TrueDad that I think we'll get really familiar with that whole pouting/crying look. Funny how, more than anything, it just makes me laugh when I hear kids cry - I guess cuz they're just so darn cute. (Okay, I'm not sadistic - I don't cry when they have a really good reason to cry, like they've fallen and hurt themselves... I just love seeing the things that are such a big deal to little ones -and it's so fun to make it better. I wonder if this is how God sees us when we throw our little tantrums. Somehow, I don't think we're nearly as cute... Thank you God, for having so much patience!)

The most amazing thing was realizing, as I looked at a picture of the little boy that he was holding in his lap the photo album that we sent him showing the picture of TrueDad & myself! I have to admit that when I saw that I just broke down crying realizing that it was for real. We are now connected with Ethiopia and the kids are connected with us - they are in the process of becoming Truekids! I desperately wish that I could post pictures, but it's not allowed nor are we allowed to give out their names. I can however, tell you about their new names...

In Ethiopia, a name is an important thing - given out with real meaning behind each name. We wanted to find a balance of maintaining this connection and preparing them for their lives in the U.S. with names they could be proud of: ones that reflect both their heritage and their new life. While this seemed like a daunting task, we've been blessed to experience God's direction clearly in the process, further signifying that these children were chosen for us.

The little boy's name, "D" means "the kind one." in Ethiopia. I blogged earlier about how when we were trying to decide if we really were supposed to pursue the adoption, the main passage of Scripture that God lead me right to is Luke 12:22-34. My favorite verse I've been holding on to in that passage is v. 32 - "Do not be afraid little flock, for Your father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom." One day, I went looking for any verses in the concordance relating to that verse, in particular. The first one I looked up was Eph. 1:5,9 "He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will," and "He made know to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Him." I'm so thankful that God's intention to bring us into His family was designed with kindness which is reflected in the name of our soon-to-be newly adopted son.

We decided to keep his birth name as his middle name and give him a new first name that also has special meaning, but is perhaps a little simpler for all of us who are language-challenged to pronounce. C.J. has always wanted a little brother, so we went for the African name, Kadin, which means "beloved companion." We are confident that he will live up to his name and be a "true & kind beloved companion!" - will that mean never a moment of sibling fighting??? Ahhhh... one can dream :).

When C.J. was born, we knew that we wanted to call him Ellie if he was a girl, but would have chosen a longer name to shorten to Ellie. Alas, it was not to be and while we were quite thrilled with our new boy, (yes, son, we still are :)) we were more than a little sad to never use the name. (Silly us, we thought we'd never have more kids... or was that our formerly practical selves trying to will some good sense into our what-could-be-viewed-as not-so-practical current versions?) So when we learned that one of our new children would be a girl, TrueDad was adamant that she be called Ellie. As he hasn't been too adamant about the details in this process, I was all too happy to go along with him. We did want to keep her Ethiopian heritage in there somewhere and so were trying to figure out how to best do that.

We learned that her given name, "W" meant "golden one." Her name doesn't translate easily into English and could cause other problems as well in the translation but we wanted to honor her given meaning in some way so we decided that we would look for a name that meant something close, like "valuable" or "light." I began to look down a rather extensive list of Ethiopian names, looking at the meaning column versus the name column. I found nothing meaning "valuable" and only one meaning "light." I think I just about fell over when I saw what it was... "Eleni." What a gift to see how God put all that together from almost 14 years ago, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart," Jeremiah 1:5

Now for the last name... in Ethiopia, the children take their father's first name as their last name. So all the children in the family with the same father have the same last name, but different from their mother's last name. When God really planted the adoption seed, I was in church listening to our pastor teach on the first chapter of Isaiah and verse 17 completely leapt off the page and into my heart, especially, "Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." I thought... this is what our church should be about. It was about that time that our pastor and his wife took in two little bi-racial boys who needed a home within their family - literally overnight. As TrueDad & I decided to go forward in our pursuit of adoption, we've always had the feeling that it would represent our church somehow or be linked in some way. Well... it turns out that the kids last name, "G" translates as "grace." Oh, did I forget to tell you that the name of our church is, "Grace?"

Their names now have a world of meaning to us.

We've also decided to incorporate their last name into Eleni's full name, so she'll be called "Eleni Grace True" - Ellie for short.

Our little 3 year old will be "Kadin 'D' True."

So now our dossier is on a plane on its ways to Ethiopia. After it's translated then we normally would be in line for a court date, however there's a slight issues going on... I'll explain in my next post cuz we need prayer!

Holding on to God and loving the ride!

TrueMom