To See the Glory of God

A few days ago, C.J. and I were talking after school and he told me about an interesting "coincidence" that happened in his Christian club at school that day. They were talking about what they had learned the week before and it turns out that two of the girls from another church had studied the same passage that C.J. and another friend from youth group had studied that same week. He and I talked about how God often works that way - with a repeated message - when He wants us to get ahold of something in particular for our lives. Was it something for me as well? I decided to find out as I looked up the passage in question - James 2:14-26.

I find myself often asking as we embark on this quest... where do faith and common sense meet, or do they meet at all? James 2:14-26 tells us that faith without works is dead. He describes the faith of Abraham who, when asked to give up his son, Isaac, whom he had waited for and prayed about for numerous years, did not hesitate but did as God asked. In the end, God provided - but before He did, He needed to see if Abraham would trust him when nothing seemed to make sense. I feel like that a lot these days. It's an encouragement to me to be reminded that our faith needs to have action behind it in order to be considered real.

I've decided that in reality, this is usually a whole lot easier to read about than live out day to day. Okay, its relatively easy when the tide is going that way. When everyone around you seems to be moving in a similar direction, (so many of our friends have put the baby years behind them as we thought we had!) but what about when they're not. It's certainly not that we all need to be doing the same thing - but we better be following after the One who holds the world in the palm of His hand. He who gives and takes away, who knows our future and loves us beyond all we can ever comprehend.

We have a chance to send gifts to the kids. The director of AWOP is going to ET in February and will bring the gifts that we send to her for them. We can send them each a gallon-sized ziploc bag. It's become somewhat of a game to see just how much we can fit into each bag - we may have to staple them closed... They actually can't receive them until we get the official referral. I'm really praying that happens while she's there so she can videotape the kids opening their gifts. We're all so thrilled to have new pictures and video as our one picture is getting rather worn :)!

In the packages are included photo albums of our family. I realize the great contrast when I see the pictures of us surrounded by our comfortable home and friends and then look at the kids sitting on the floor of the orphanage. We all have smiles on our faces - there's not a hint of a smile on the kids' faces. I wonder constantly what they've been through...

Funny, but I've started shopping at WalMart. The kids laughed the first time I came home with my Walmart bags in tow. I was never really thrilled to shop there before - its always so crowded and the parking is soo farrr awayyyy. Somehow I find myself embracing any way that I can save money, not only because every dollar counts these days, but because I'm not real comfortable with the idea of being extravagant.

While I was there last week, I came across an older woman, who was holding onto her cart pretty heavily as she was struggling to read the sign on the juice container. She asked me to tell her if what she was holding was orange juice. She explained that the helper she usually comes with wasn't able to make it today and she couldn't read the packages very well. After I informed her that she was looking at mango punch not orange juice and helped her find what she wanted I watched her walk off to find the next item.

I'm embarrassed to admit that when the thought came into my head that I should offer my help, I immediately came up with the excuse of how much shopping I had to do with little time - she probably wouldn't want my help anyway. Thankfully, I couldn't go on that way and after watching her struggle for a few seconds with the milk, I approached her and asked her if she would let me help her get the rest of the items on her list. She gratefully handed me her list as she tried to read it with her extremely large magnifying glass.

We went to the next few aisles to find the rest of her list. There were only three other things on her list - it probably only took 10 minutes. As we said our goodbyes, she grabbed my hand and told me with tears in her eyes how thankful she was to me for my help. All I could think about was how blessed I was to have the opportunity to help her and how ashamed I was that I almost missed it. I wonder just how many blessings I've missed out on because I was "too busy."

In keeping with my "busyness" I find that I often relate to Martha, Jesus friend. I was reading about her the other day when she was face to face with Jesus after her brother, Lazarus, had been in the grave for 4 days. Jesus had been out of town when Lazarus, his friend, had died. He knew that Lazarus was deathly ill cuz' his sisters had IM'd him (the painfully slow donkey network) yet he still chose not to come immediately, but several days later. He told his disciples that "the sickness wouldn't end in death" but would be for "God's glory." Of course, he didn't tell Mary and Martha that. Instead, they were confronted with the idea that Jesus may not have cared as much as He had professed since He let Lazarus die. And you've got to wonder what His disciples thought when they finally arrived at Lazarus grave and he had been dead for several days. Could Jesus have gotten it wrong after all???

When Jesus came, Martha ran out to meet Him while Mary stayed at home. (This is my soul sister in true form - always on the move, feeling like there's so much still to get done, how can you just sit - yet I'm always striving to be like Mary who sat at Jesus feet and simply listened to and adored Him...) She also told Jesus when she saw Him that although she knew that her brother wouldn't have died if Jesus had been there, she believed that God would give Jesus whatever He asked. She really seems to express faith at this point, yet wavers a bit later when asked to put it into action.

Jesus, knowing He's going to raise Lazarus to life once again, asks Martha to live her faith by moving the stone in front of the tomb. Martha can't help but interject here, "Ummm, Jesus? Remember, it's been four days - not smelling so good right now!" I love Jesus response here as He gives such a gentle reminder, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"

Do I honestly want to see God's glory, cuz' the road to get there is often fraught with heartache, deep questions and wondering if we've been abandoned along the way? Guy just told me that he was encouraging the youth group to run the race with perseverance as it states in Hebrews 12:1-2 and fixing "our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross." What great comfort that the God we serve doesn't ask us to go any place He hasn't been. And, ultimately the place we're going to is filled with joy and God's glory!

When I look into the pictures I'm sending and see the faces of my kids at home, my beautiful kids in Ethiopia - and remember the woman at Walmart - I am confronted with the bold, indescribable glory of God and there's no turning back.

Our social worker is finishing our home study now. I'm hoping to hear something tomorrow or for sure at the beginning of next week. Then we can send it off to immigration so they can finish our I-600 Visa. I just found out today that we have to be fingerprinted yet again so we can get statewide police clearances this time to submit with our dossier. Gotta love the paperwork!